How to Stay Busy the Last Two Days of the Election

A non-exhaustive, slightly random, but nevertheless useful list

Photo: Shutterstock.com

This post assumes you have already cast your ballot in the 2020 US general election, if you are eligible to do so. If that hasn’t happened yet, please replace this entire list with a single agenda item: VOTE.

For everyone else, here’s how you cope:

  1. Don’t go on social media.
  2. Eat the leftover Halloween candy. There’s a time for stress eating, and this most definitely qualifies. Except Almond Joy, which should never be eaten by anyone, anytime, ever.
  3. Sit in the backyard, breathe in the fresh fall air, listen to the birds, and pretend not to be having a small-scale panic attack.
  4. Don’t go on social media.
  5. Read or watch anything but the news. Satirical news sites are not exempt.
  6. Tackle that massive home improvement project you’ve been ignoring for months — today is a great day to start, and you can do it! If you’re not particularly handy, start an inspiration board anyway. Pinterest is your friend. Every idea on there is completely realistic and doable.
  7. Don’t go on social media.
  8. Do multiple loads of laundry, fold them, but instead of putting it away, wash it all over again. It’s practically meditation!
  9. On work calls, feign a genuine interest in getting work done.
  10. Don’t go on social media, dammit.
  11. Take an online yoga class and refine your peaceful warrior pose in preparation for the post-election apocalypse.
  12. Get mildly drunk in the middle of the afternoon and accidentally open Twitter.
  13. Delete all your social media accounts for 24 hours, but make sure to post about it first.
  14. Make your family a soothing soup for dinner, realize you don’t have any bread to go with it, wonder why you threw out your sourdough starter last month, and have a minor baking-related existential crisis.
  15. Listen to calming or uplifting or angsty music, if only to drown out your own internal monologue.
  16. Consider re-installing social media just for a minute to check if anyone has commented on your posts about staying away from it.
  17. Lie in the middle of your bed, hyperventilating, and cursing every life choice made by you and humanity at large that has led to this moment.
  18. Realize you need new sheets for the bed, start looking at options online, begin a research rabbit hole about falling prey to the dangerous fallacies of thread count.
  19. Wonder if it’s too late to reconsider your position on Almond Joy.
  20. Repeat the entire ennui-filled sequence tomorrow. Congratulations, you’ve made it through the 2020 election! Now, about November 4th…

Written by

Often reading, writing, or teaching. Always cooking, baking, and eating. Words in Human Parts, Curious, Modern Parent. Connect on Twitter @purnima_mani

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